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Finding and evaluating a therapist
What Does Your Therapist Expect From You?
This varies from therapist to therapist but usually you are expected to:
1) Show up on time for appointments. Unlike other doctors that may keep you
waiting for an appointment or that may accept you even if you show up late, a
therapist has a specific hour set aside for you. If you are late, then you are
missing out on time that was reserved for you. The therapist has no obligation
to make the session run late because you showed up late. Most likely the
therapist will have another client waiting to start at the beginning of the
next hour. The therapist should not take phone calls or attend to any business
other than yours during your therapy session.
2) Cancel appointments in advance so the therapist can reschedule (usually 24
to 48 hours). Usually therapists charge the full fee for missed appointments
that are not canceled in advance because you are paying for the therapist's
time that was allotted for you. Insurance will not pay for missed appointments.
3) Share your perceptions and feelings as openly and honestly as you can. This
involves taking the risk of sharing your deepest fears and concerns--this will
help you to make progress quickly.
4) Actively work on your issues with your therapist. Some people come into
therapy with the attitude, "I'm here, now fix me." When in actuality the
process has to be one of both of you working together.
5) Complete any "homework" which was assigned. (Homework is designed to help
the benefits of therapy to extend beyond the therapy hour)
6) Think about and reflect on your therapy between sessions. Be ready to
discuss thoughts that you have about the previous sessions or any insights that
have come to you since your last session with the therapist. You may even want
to start keeping a journal of your experiences. If you have tried but can't
come up with any thoughts about the therapy then that is understandable.
7) Discuss with the therapist when you feel that you are finished with therapy
BEFORE actually stopping.
If you follow these guidelines, you are not only living up to the expectations
of therapy, you are also putting yourself in the best position to get the most
out of the experience.
What Not To Expect
Don't expect a miracle cure from your therapist. Your problems have been with
you for a long time and long-established patterns can take a while to change.
Do not expect your therapist to be your friend outside of the therapy session.
This can lead to complications with your therapy and should be avoided. You may
wonder why your therapist does not acknowledge you in public. This is because
your therapist wants to keep your relationship confidential. If you make the
first move to say hello, then the interaction would likely be much different.
Also don't expect your therapist to attend parties or other functions. Some
therapists will come to significant life milestones such as a graduation or
marriage, but other therapists believe that it is not appropriate. Talk to your
therapist about your feelings in regard to these matters.
What To Watch Out For
If you feel that the therapist is setting goals for you which are based on what
the therapist considers is important for you to change and these goals are not
your own, then be wary. At times therapists will unwittingly introduce their
own unresolved issues which influence their treatment decisions. This is
something to watch out for. For instance, if you mention that you are in an
unhappy marriage and yet you are going to therapy to get over stage fright, and
the therapist says you have to work on your marriage first, then he is a
therapist to avoid. That therapist may be dealing with unresolved personal
relationship issues which are influencing his or her judgment in regard to your
treatment. This is rare, but it is something to be aware of.
Never let the therapist perform any action or ask you to do anything that is
against your morals and values. If a therapist ever asks you to do something
unacceptable and does not respect your wishes then leave immediately.
Therapists are in a position of power and at times try and wield that power by
saying "I know what is best for you." As with any profession, there are a small
percentage of bad therapists who will abuse this power. Remember, never do
anything that is against your values.
A therapist should never touch you without your permission. Some therapists
will put their hand on your shoulder once they know you to offer support, but
if such a gesture makes you uncomfortable then tell the therapist. If he or she
does not respect your wishes then leave immediately.
If you ever have a particular problem or disagreement with your therapist, it
is vital to bring this out in the open. Disagreements will inevitably arise,
this is part of the therapy process. You should watch out for therapists who
don't listen to your concerns or apologize for mistakes.
Unprofessional Behaviour
Therapists are expected to uphold the moral and legal standards of the
community. Clients should be treated with dignity, respect, and fairness.
The following are behaviors that are not ethical for a therapist:
Any sexual approach is unprofessional for a therapist. Asking you to remove any
of your clothes, or touching you in any way without your permission is
unethical. Having romantic encounters or even asking to see you outside of
therapy is also unethical. Be wary of therapists who try to elicit help from
you for their own problems or charities or outside business interests.
Therapists may bring up personal anecdotes to assist with your therapy, but the
focus should not change to dealing with the therapist's problems.
The therapist may give you a reduced fee to help to accommodate your financial
situation. When your situation improves it is customary to re-evaluate the
circumstances and possibly pay the therapist's regular fee. But the therapist
cannot increase his normal fees just because he believes you can afford a
higher fee.
Though these situations are rare, if you believe that your therapist behaved in
an unprofessional manner then it's time to reassess the situation.
Good Luck
© Chrissy52
Survivors Journey
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