What types of people self-injure?
Self-injurers come in all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life and all economic brackets and religious backgrounds.
People who harm themselves can be male, female; straight, gay or bi; PhD’s or high-school dropouts or even students; rich or poor; from any country in the world. Some people who self-injure manage to function effectively in demanding jobs; they are teachers, therapists, medical professionals, lawyers, professors, engineers. Some people are on disability. Ages range from early teens to early 60’s perhaps even younger or older. The incidence of self-injury is about the same as that of eating disorders, but because its so highly stigmatized, most people hide their scars, burns and bruises carefully. They also have some creative excuses to pull out when someone asks about the scars (you can imagine there are a lot of vicious cats out there!).
Overall picture of psychological characteristics common in self-injurers:
- strongly dislike/invalidate themselves
- are hypersensitive to rejection
- are chronically angry, usually at themselves
- tend to suppress their anger
- have high levels of aggressive feelings which they disapprove of strongly and often suppress or direct inward
- are more impulsive and more lacking in impulse control
- tend to act in accordance with their mood of the moment
- tend not to plan for the future
- are depressed and suicidal/self-destructive
- suffer chronic anxiety
- tend toward irritability
- do not see themselves as skilled at coping
- do not have a flexible repertoire of coping skills
- do not think they have much control over how/whether they cope with life
- tend to be avoidant
- do not see themselves as empowered
Aren’t people who would deliberately hurt themselves psychotic?
No more than people who drown their sorrows in a bottle of vodka are. Its a coping mechanism, just not one thats as understandable to most people and as accepted by society as alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating, anorexia, bulimia, workaholism, smoking cigarettes and other forms of problem avoidance are.
Isn’t it just another way to describe a failed suicide attempt?
NO. People who inflict physical harm on themselves are often doing it in an attempt to maintain psychological integrity – its a way to keep them from killing themselves. They release unbearable feelings and pressures through self-harm and that eases their urge toward suicide. And although some people who self-injure do later attempt suicide, they almost always use a method different from their preferred method of self-harm. Self-injury is a maladaptive coping mechanism, a way to stay alive. Unfortunately, some people don’t understand this and think that involuntary commitment is the only way to deal with a person who self-harms. Hospitalisation, especially forced, can do more harm than good.
Plenty can be done to help someone who self-injures, medications, and therapy to name a couple, and there are plenty of ways to try and fight the urge to self-injure. Secret Shame discusses all this and more in much detail……..well worth a look.
Copyright Deb Martinson © 1996-2004 Secret Shame. Used with permission
